2 tbsp canola oil
5 karelas (bitter melon), innards removed and sliced into 1/4" pieces
1 onion, sliced
1 1/2 tsp kosher salt
bit of fresh cracked black pepper
1 tsp turmeric
1 tsp fresh ground coriander
1 tsp amchoor powder
1/4 tsp fresh ground cinnamon
1/4 cup golden raisins
1" fresh ginger, minced
2 garlic cloves, minced
1 tbsp brown sugar
Directions
Ok, first lemme explain how I got myself into this mess. I was at my Indian grocery store buying ingredients for my very Anglo-friendly mulligatawny, but they don't carry yellow squash. I found this ugly-ass bumpy fucker that looked like it could be an Asian cultivar of summer squash, so I asked the grocer what the little green beast was. He was in a heated exchange with another customer (speaking Hindi I think) and didn't hear/ ignored me. The customer's wife heard my query and excitedly began extolling the virtues of this miracle fruit/ vegetable/ abomination of all things holy. It cures diabetes, it detoxifies the body, it's good for the heart, etc. She instructed me on several cooking methods, and really took her time to make sure I understood why it was important for me to buy this monster. I appreciated her passion and her effort. Plus she was absolutely drop-dead gorgeous which I wasn't expecting when she turned around, and it hit me like a cattle prod so for the few minutes she was talking to me I was kinda stunned and couldn't do much more than nod. When I walked out I'd bought five of the damn things. And here's what I did with them:
Cut the karelas in half lengthwise and scoop out the inner pith and seeds with a spoon. Chop them into 1/4" pieces as if you were slicing celery. Soak in ~4 cups of water with a tbsp of salt and the juice of one lemon, and put it in the fridge for a couple hours. Drain and dry the melon pieces. Heat oil in a sauté pan on medium. Throw in the karelas, onion, salt, and pepper, and cook for 5 mins, stirring occasionally. Add the rest of the ingredients, stir to combine, and cook for another 5 mins. That's pretty much it. I ate it with a piece a chapati.
That is, I tried to eat it with a piece of chapati. I couldn't do it. I just could not do it, man! Too fucking bitter. I've read elsewhere that I should rub the karela with salt straight up, not in a solution, and let it set for a couple hours before rinsing it off to make it even less bitter. But this was so bitter, bitter beyond imagination (and I like bitter), that I don't think I'll ever try it again.
Why am I posting this? I dunno, maybe to show that I fuck up sometimes, just trying to keep the blog honest. But like I said, I really don't think this is my fuck-up. So if you're feeling a bit adventurous (or perhaps masochistic), do it. Go eat some bitter melon.
Suggested Album Pairing
Bitter Melon Farm, The Mountain Goats. Because The Mountain Goats rawk. And by rawk I mean John Darnielle writes incredibly insightful lyrics and tight hooks.
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